Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Remembering 31...

Today is the day I mark another year gone and a fresh start to a new year, a new age, a new chapter.  I can't help but think back on 31 and be completely amazed at what an incredible God I serve.  I had no idea just how drastic my life would change over these 12 short months.
On September 7th, 2010 I woke up with hope in my heart and butterflies in my stomach.  We loaded the car for an early morning airport run, our precious Katie Mae would be headed back to school.  Looking back I don't think God could have orchestrated a more timely visit, Katie Mae kept me distracted when I needed it most.  I don't think I could ever thank her enough for coming.   

There was little traffic on the way to Dallas at 6 in the morning.  It was dark out and our conversation was sweet, but my heart was beating just a little faster.  We pulled up to the terminal, oh how I do love the airport.  We gave our precious girl a hug, prayed for travel safety and sent her on her way.  Once again we were off, into the jungle of rush hour traffic, with Plano as our destination and the ad*ption agency plugged into the faithful GPS.  

The sun began to rise over the cars and it was apparent this would be a gloriously overcast rainy day.  How I do love the ran.  Our trip was fairly painless and we arrived in Plano early.  We drove to the adoption agency to make sure we would be able to find it, the clock read 7:45am, we had under 2 hours to meeting time.  

My precious husband who knows where my happy place is plugged, Starbucks into the iphone and we found one not to far away.  The light drizzle of rain made it a perfect coffee morning.  We grabbed the baby name book as we knew she may want to know what name we had chosen.  We sat looking through names we had picked over 5 years ago, some we still liked, some we didn't.  Little did we know that would not be the day we would choose a name.   I sat slightly distracted by all the men and woman coming in and out to order coffee like any other day.  Any other day was not today for us.  Ever second that passed was that much closer and that much faster my heart was beating.  Eventually it was time to head back to the ad*ption agency.

The rain was a little harder and the clouds had completely blocked out the sun.  The closer we got to the agency the more anxious I was becoming.  We pulled into the parking lot, spent sometime praying together and headed in.  It was 8:50am.  We met our ad*ption counselor who took us back to a room with windows that looked out over the rain and cars passing by on the busy highway.  Thank you Jesus for those windows and the rain, I felt immediate peace.  I glanced up at the clock 9:00am and remembered so many had committed to pray for us at 9:00am in my very first prayer party!  To those of you who were apart of that party, words cannot begin to express my gratitude.  

Our ad*ption counselor talked over a few details with us, she was a God send and such a source of peace during our entire journey.  She made sure we were settled and stepped out for a brief moment.  We knew the next time the door opened there would be another person walking through.  The minutes felt like an eternity, I closed my eyes to pray for peace, a moment later I could hear the door handle turning.  Our ad*ption counselor entered the room first and right behind her the person we had only heard about just 6 days prior.  

I remember that moment as if it were yesterday, everything I had ever feared in a birthmother meeting was so far from the reality of that day.  The walls of fear fell the moment this beautiful young lady with a smile that could light up a room, reached out to hug both the hubby and I.  She had no hesitation and was elated to meet us.  In that moment my heart was completely at peace.  Our counselor opened up the conversation which felt absolutely no different than sitting with a member of your family, isn't the Lord amazing! 
We were given the opportunity to ask the first question.  I had prayed for days what the Lord would want us to ask, we had made a list, but the first thing God laid on my heart was a question that would impact this process more than we realized at the time..

"Tell us about you, what do you like and what are your hobbies?"  

Such a simple question, but we truly wanted to know this precious person sitting across the table from us.  She didn't know us but the more we sat there the deeper we were falling in love with her.  As she spoke all I could remember thinking is "I get it Lord, I finally get it!".  This precious person was no different than you or I, she is a precious daughter of God, just like me. Two different lives, brought together by the orchestration of a loving Father.

The conversation was sweet and before we knew it our time had come to an end.  We gave her a hug and said our good byes.  We talked with our counselor for a few moments and then it was time to go.  I took two steps out the door, looked my rock of hubby in the eyes and said...

"It has to be her, she has to be our birth mother, it just has to be her!"

We knew she would meet several other families over the coming hours that morning, but as for that day I was on cloud 9.  I had been changed forever by a young lady had never met.  
Friends there are no words that could express to you what that morning was like for us.  Perhaps that is why it has taken me so long to blog about it.  Only now can I really think back and not be so in awe by God that I am at a complete lack for words.  Whatever you know of open adoption, the horrors you may have heard, the fears you may have, the preconceived motives of a birth mother, we have been there and can tell you it is so far from reality.  I shutter to even think we could have missed this, but that is for another blog.  

To be completely honest I cannot recall the rest of that day, it just didn't matter.  The best birthday present I was given was knowing I had finally understood what adoption was truly all about, the heartbeat of a Great Big God!  Since that day my birthday holds a whole new meaning, the day I would meet the woman God would use to change my life forever, in so many different ways.  

Don't worry this is not the end of the story, you will just have to wait until September 16th for the continuation.  For now just know that my birthday present this year is sleeping away in his crib, I still cannot believe this life I am living is real.  Only You Lord, only You!

Thank you for being apart of this past year!

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