Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Wordless Wednesday...Be still my heart
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Wordless Wednesday...Mr. Cow
I just love this progression of pictures, I only wish there was sound to go along with them. You can't see him but our little man was talking and waving to a HUGE cow! Enjoy this wordless Wednesday!
Have a blessed wordless wednesday!
Monday, October 17, 2011
September 15th, 2010...
September 15th, 2010...
The day began much like any other. I woke to the annoying sound of the alarm and I slowly pulled myself out of bed. I rushed to get ready for work, made a quick cup of coffee, grabbed my keys, kissed the hubby and headed out the door. The drive from home to work took an average of 45 minute, a long time to think and pray. It had been over a week and we patiently waited for news. As much as I hoped for good news, my heart was prepared for the worst. We had been down this road before and had become a bit guarded. Each process takes with it apart of your heart, needless to say apart of my heart will always be in El Salvador and Taiwan.
I had spent the night prior in prayer, the Lord had some "heart surgery" to do on me, but that is for another blog. I had a new outlook this morning and my heart was at peace. The rush of adrenaline from the prior weeks events had worn off and we were in a holding pattern, as we had come to call it. I knew if the answer was no it was not a punishment, but rather just another part of our adoption story.
Settling into work I did my best to concentrate. It was 8:00am and I was in full swing with my daily routine. About 9:20am my cell phone began vibrating, it was our adoption councilor. I flew out the door and down the front steps to the same place I had stood for each of our conversations. I held my breath and answered. On the other end our sweet adoption councilor, whose peaceful and pleasant demeanor could be felt through the phone. We made pleasant conversation, I paced back and forth just waiting for the news.
Finally the moment came, I could feel my heart begin to race. This was it. A moment later she said perhaps the 3 most amazing words I have ever heard:
"She chose you..."
Immediately I feel to my knees and began weeping. Few things are etched on my mind like that moment. 7 years of waiting, hoping, longing, praying had come to this moment in time. I could not have scripted it better, only the power of a mountain moving, awe inspiring, jaw dropping God could have written our story so beautifully. I apologized for being so taken by the news, I could hear her smile through the phone and in a shaky voice I could tell she was rejoicing with us. She asked us to keep the news quiet (with the exception of family) until she could speak with the families who had not been chosen. She explained the details of the impending birth and additional meetings with the birthmother. As excited as I was the reality of adoption kicked in and the warnings of the potential for the birthmother to change her mind. She gave me time to ask questions and then we wrapped up our conversation. Hanging up the phone I simply could not believe what I had heard.
I collected myself and quickly dialed the hubby's number. He answered and immediately the tears came rushing in. I uttered the words as best I could "Your going to be a daddy, she chose us"! I wish I could have seen the look on his face (hindsight for all adoptive couples, be sure you tell your spouse in person) but I can still hear his shaking voice today "Wow, really, wow. Thank you Lord". For those of you who know my hubby, he is a man of many words, however in this moment he had very little to say. I relayed all the information to him as best I could and we prayed together. I truly believe we were both so in awe we simply were at a loss for words, we just couldn't believe it.
Much of the rest of the day remains a blur. I remember calling family, finishing out the work day (I still have no idea how) and heading home early to celebrate. Finally around 7:30pm we received a call from our sweet adoption councilor letting us know we were clear to tell everyone....and tell them we did :). One day I am sure we will share the video with all you bloggy friends.
BUT...the story doesn't end here, in fact this really is just the beginning and if you thought this was awesome, you ain't heard nothin' yet! Stay tuned...
The day began much like any other. I woke to the annoying sound of the alarm and I slowly pulled myself out of bed. I rushed to get ready for work, made a quick cup of coffee, grabbed my keys, kissed the hubby and headed out the door. The drive from home to work took an average of 45 minute, a long time to think and pray. It had been over a week and we patiently waited for news. As much as I hoped for good news, my heart was prepared for the worst. We had been down this road before and had become a bit guarded. Each process takes with it apart of your heart, needless to say apart of my heart will always be in El Salvador and Taiwan.
I had spent the night prior in prayer, the Lord had some "heart surgery" to do on me, but that is for another blog. I had a new outlook this morning and my heart was at peace. The rush of adrenaline from the prior weeks events had worn off and we were in a holding pattern, as we had come to call it. I knew if the answer was no it was not a punishment, but rather just another part of our adoption story.
Settling into work I did my best to concentrate. It was 8:00am and I was in full swing with my daily routine. About 9:20am my cell phone began vibrating, it was our adoption councilor. I flew out the door and down the front steps to the same place I had stood for each of our conversations. I held my breath and answered. On the other end our sweet adoption councilor, whose peaceful and pleasant demeanor could be felt through the phone. We made pleasant conversation, I paced back and forth just waiting for the news.
Finally the moment came, I could feel my heart begin to race. This was it. A moment later she said perhaps the 3 most amazing words I have ever heard:
"She chose you..."
Immediately I feel to my knees and began weeping. Few things are etched on my mind like that moment. 7 years of waiting, hoping, longing, praying had come to this moment in time. I could not have scripted it better, only the power of a mountain moving, awe inspiring, jaw dropping God could have written our story so beautifully. I apologized for being so taken by the news, I could hear her smile through the phone and in a shaky voice I could tell she was rejoicing with us. She asked us to keep the news quiet (with the exception of family) until she could speak with the families who had not been chosen. She explained the details of the impending birth and additional meetings with the birthmother. As excited as I was the reality of adoption kicked in and the warnings of the potential for the birthmother to change her mind. She gave me time to ask questions and then we wrapped up our conversation. Hanging up the phone I simply could not believe what I had heard.
I collected myself and quickly dialed the hubby's number. He answered and immediately the tears came rushing in. I uttered the words as best I could "Your going to be a daddy, she chose us"! I wish I could have seen the look on his face (hindsight for all adoptive couples, be sure you tell your spouse in person) but I can still hear his shaking voice today "Wow, really, wow. Thank you Lord". For those of you who know my hubby, he is a man of many words, however in this moment he had very little to say. I relayed all the information to him as best I could and we prayed together. I truly believe we were both so in awe we simply were at a loss for words, we just couldn't believe it.
Much of the rest of the day remains a blur. I remember calling family, finishing out the work day (I still have no idea how) and heading home early to celebrate. Finally around 7:30pm we received a call from our sweet adoption councilor letting us know we were clear to tell everyone....and tell them we did :). One day I am sure we will share the video with all you bloggy friends.
BUT...the story doesn't end here, in fact this really is just the beginning and if you thought this was awesome, you ain't heard nothin' yet! Stay tuned...
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Remembering 31...
Today is the day I mark another year gone and a fresh start to a new year, a new age, a new chapter. I can't help but think back on 31 and be completely amazed at what an incredible God I serve. I had no idea just how drastic my life would change over these 12 short months.
On September 7th, 2010 I woke up with hope in my heart and butterflies in my stomach. We loaded the car for an early morning airport run, our precious Katie Mae would be headed back to school. Looking back I don't think God could have orchestrated a more timely visit, Katie Mae kept me distracted when I needed it most. I don't think I could ever thank her enough for coming.
There was little traffic on the way to Dallas at 6 in the morning. It was dark out and our conversation was sweet, but my heart was beating just a little faster. We pulled up to the terminal, oh how I do love the airport. We gave our precious girl a hug, prayed for travel safety and sent her on her way. Once again we were off, into the jungle of rush hour traffic, with Plano as our destination and the ad*ption agency plugged into the faithful GPS.
The sun began to rise over the cars and it was apparent this would be a gloriously overcast rainy day. How I do love the ran. Our trip was fairly painless and we arrived in Plano early. We drove to the adoption agency to make sure we would be able to find it, the clock read 7:45am, we had under 2 hours to meeting time.
My precious husband who knows where my happy place is plugged, Starbucks into the iphone and we found one not to far away. The light drizzle of rain made it a perfect coffee morning. We grabbed the baby name book as we knew she may want to know what name we had chosen. We sat looking through names we had picked over 5 years ago, some we still liked, some we didn't. Little did we know that would not be the day we would choose a name. I sat slightly distracted by all the men and woman coming in and out to order coffee like any other day. Any other day was not today for us. Ever second that passed was that much closer and that much faster my heart was beating. Eventually it was time to head back to the ad*ption agency.
The rain was a little harder and the clouds had completely blocked out the sun. The closer we got to the agency the more anxious I was becoming. We pulled into the parking lot, spent sometime praying together and headed in. It was 8:50am. We met our ad*ption counselor who took us back to a room with windows that looked out over the rain and cars passing by on the busy highway. Thank you Jesus for those windows and the rain, I felt immediate peace. I glanced up at the clock 9:00am and remembered so many had committed to pray for us at 9:00am in my very first prayer party! To those of you who were apart of that party, words cannot begin to express my gratitude.
Our ad*ption counselor talked over a few details with us, she was a God send and such a source of peace during our entire journey. She made sure we were settled and stepped out for a brief moment. We knew the next time the door opened there would be another person walking through. The minutes felt like an eternity, I closed my eyes to pray for peace, a moment later I could hear the door handle turning. Our ad*ption counselor entered the room first and right behind her the person we had only heard about just 6 days prior.
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday, everything I had ever feared in a birthmother meeting was so far from the reality of that day. The walls of fear fell the moment this beautiful young lady with a smile that could light up a room, reached out to hug both the hubby and I. She had no hesitation and was elated to meet us. In that moment my heart was completely at peace. Our counselor opened up the conversation which felt absolutely no different than sitting with a member of your family, isn't the Lord amazing!
We were given the opportunity to ask the first question. I had prayed for days what the Lord would want us to ask, we had made a list, but the first thing God laid on my heart was a question that would impact this process more than we realized at the time..
"Tell us about you, what do you like and what are your hobbies?"
Such a simple question, but we truly wanted to know this precious person sitting across the table from us. She didn't know us but the more we sat there the deeper we were falling in love with her. As she spoke all I could remember thinking is "I get it Lord, I finally get it!". This precious person was no different than you or I, she is a precious daughter of God, just like me. Two different lives, brought together by the orchestration of a loving Father.
The conversation was sweet and before we knew it our time had come to an end. We gave her a hug and said our good byes. We talked with our counselor for a few moments and then it was time to go. I took two steps out the door, looked my rock of hubby in the eyes and said...
"It has to be her, she has to be our birth mother, it just has to be her!"
We knew she would meet several other families over the coming hours that morning, but as for that day I was on cloud 9. I had been changed forever by a young lady had never met.
Friends there are no words that could express to you what that morning was like for us. Perhaps that is why it has taken me so long to blog about it. Only now can I really think back and not be so in awe by God that I am at a complete lack for words. Whatever you know of open adoption, the horrors you may have heard, the fears you may have, the preconceived motives of a birth mother, we have been there and can tell you it is so far from reality. I shutter to even think we could have missed this, but that is for another blog.
To be completely honest I cannot recall the rest of that day, it just didn't matter. The best birthday present I was given was knowing I had finally understood what adoption was truly all about, the heartbeat of a Great Big God! Since that day my birthday holds a whole new meaning, the day I would meet the woman God would use to change my life forever, in so many different ways.
Don't worry this is not the end of the story, you will just have to wait until September 16th for the continuation. For now just know that my birthday present this year is sleeping away in his crib, I still cannot believe this life I am living is real. Only You Lord, only You!
Thank you for being apart of this past year!
hj
On September 7th, 2010 I woke up with hope in my heart and butterflies in my stomach. We loaded the car for an early morning airport run, our precious Katie Mae would be headed back to school. Looking back I don't think God could have orchestrated a more timely visit, Katie Mae kept me distracted when I needed it most. I don't think I could ever thank her enough for coming.
There was little traffic on the way to Dallas at 6 in the morning. It was dark out and our conversation was sweet, but my heart was beating just a little faster. We pulled up to the terminal, oh how I do love the airport. We gave our precious girl a hug, prayed for travel safety and sent her on her way. Once again we were off, into the jungle of rush hour traffic, with Plano as our destination and the ad*ption agency plugged into the faithful GPS.
The sun began to rise over the cars and it was apparent this would be a gloriously overcast rainy day. How I do love the ran. Our trip was fairly painless and we arrived in Plano early. We drove to the adoption agency to make sure we would be able to find it, the clock read 7:45am, we had under 2 hours to meeting time.
My precious husband who knows where my happy place is plugged, Starbucks into the iphone and we found one not to far away. The light drizzle of rain made it a perfect coffee morning. We grabbed the baby name book as we knew she may want to know what name we had chosen. We sat looking through names we had picked over 5 years ago, some we still liked, some we didn't. Little did we know that would not be the day we would choose a name. I sat slightly distracted by all the men and woman coming in and out to order coffee like any other day. Any other day was not today for us. Ever second that passed was that much closer and that much faster my heart was beating. Eventually it was time to head back to the ad*ption agency.
The rain was a little harder and the clouds had completely blocked out the sun. The closer we got to the agency the more anxious I was becoming. We pulled into the parking lot, spent sometime praying together and headed in. It was 8:50am. We met our ad*ption counselor who took us back to a room with windows that looked out over the rain and cars passing by on the busy highway. Thank you Jesus for those windows and the rain, I felt immediate peace. I glanced up at the clock 9:00am and remembered so many had committed to pray for us at 9:00am in my very first prayer party! To those of you who were apart of that party, words cannot begin to express my gratitude.
Our ad*ption counselor talked over a few details with us, she was a God send and such a source of peace during our entire journey. She made sure we were settled and stepped out for a brief moment. We knew the next time the door opened there would be another person walking through. The minutes felt like an eternity, I closed my eyes to pray for peace, a moment later I could hear the door handle turning. Our ad*ption counselor entered the room first and right behind her the person we had only heard about just 6 days prior.
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday, everything I had ever feared in a birthmother meeting was so far from the reality of that day. The walls of fear fell the moment this beautiful young lady with a smile that could light up a room, reached out to hug both the hubby and I. She had no hesitation and was elated to meet us. In that moment my heart was completely at peace. Our counselor opened up the conversation which felt absolutely no different than sitting with a member of your family, isn't the Lord amazing!
We were given the opportunity to ask the first question. I had prayed for days what the Lord would want us to ask, we had made a list, but the first thing God laid on my heart was a question that would impact this process more than we realized at the time..
"Tell us about you, what do you like and what are your hobbies?"
Such a simple question, but we truly wanted to know this precious person sitting across the table from us. She didn't know us but the more we sat there the deeper we were falling in love with her. As she spoke all I could remember thinking is "I get it Lord, I finally get it!". This precious person was no different than you or I, she is a precious daughter of God, just like me. Two different lives, brought together by the orchestration of a loving Father.
The conversation was sweet and before we knew it our time had come to an end. We gave her a hug and said our good byes. We talked with our counselor for a few moments and then it was time to go. I took two steps out the door, looked my rock of hubby in the eyes and said...
"It has to be her, she has to be our birth mother, it just has to be her!"
We knew she would meet several other families over the coming hours that morning, but as for that day I was on cloud 9. I had been changed forever by a young lady had never met.
Friends there are no words that could express to you what that morning was like for us. Perhaps that is why it has taken me so long to blog about it. Only now can I really think back and not be so in awe by God that I am at a complete lack for words. Whatever you know of open adoption, the horrors you may have heard, the fears you may have, the preconceived motives of a birth mother, we have been there and can tell you it is so far from reality. I shutter to even think we could have missed this, but that is for another blog.
To be completely honest I cannot recall the rest of that day, it just didn't matter. The best birthday present I was given was knowing I had finally understood what adoption was truly all about, the heartbeat of a Great Big God! Since that day my birthday holds a whole new meaning, the day I would meet the woman God would use to change my life forever, in so many different ways.
Don't worry this is not the end of the story, you will just have to wait until September 16th for the continuation. For now just know that my birthday present this year is sleeping away in his crib, I still cannot believe this life I am living is real. Only You Lord, only You!
Thank you for being apart of this past year!
hj
Start at the very beginning...
Can you hear Julie Andrews singing in the background? Though slightly different than the Von Trapp family, none the less here we are at the start of new blog journey. Many of you have been around for the plethora of blogs I have been doing a poor job of maintaining, so in an effort to keep up I'm combining them all into one.
Not to worry, Doodling Dragonfly (my craft/DIY blog) isn't going anywhere, that will stay solely a creativity blog. Our Life's A Hoot is all about our family, our ministry, our life and our passion, adoption. So stick around, you never know what you will find :)
hj
Not to worry, Doodling Dragonfly (my craft/DIY blog) isn't going anywhere, that will stay solely a creativity blog. Our Life's A Hoot is all about our family, our ministry, our life and our passion, adoption. So stick around, you never know what you will find :)
hj
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
More Month 2
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| So peaceful! |
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| Loved that he looked like he was praying |
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| This beautiful blank came from his bio family, it is beautiful! |
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| Yes we did discover our tongue in November |
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| Best buddies, love my boys! |
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| One of mommy's favorite pics |
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| Lovin bath time, so relaxed. |
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| If only you could hear the noise that went along with this precious face! |
Where in the world are Patrick and Heather Janson....
Are you hearing the theme from Carmen San Diego yet? By now I'm sure you are among the few who are asking this very question. We haven't moved or disappeared, we have just been extremely busy. In short the Seminary I work for has spent the past three years preparing for their accreditation visit. Shortly before I returned to work in January I was asked to take the lead in planning all the logistics for the visit that would occur in MARCH!!! YIKES!!! This was a HUGE undertaking as these visits happen once every 10 years, so I was greatly honored to be asked and in January hit the ground running. To keep a very long story short, the visit went better than I could have asked after the countless hours of work that had been put into it.
To those of you who have faithfully been checking in THANK YOU! Now that life is starting to slow down we have a backlog of pictures from November to present day. So be prepared to see Jaedon grow before your very eyes!
Love you all,
Patrick and Heather
To those of you who have faithfully been checking in THANK YOU! Now that life is starting to slow down we have a backlog of pictures from November to present day. So be prepared to see Jaedon grow before your very eyes!
Love you all,
Patrick and Heather
Thursday, February 24, 2011
To keep you comin back...
Okay so I realize it has been some time since we last posted and I have SO MUCH to share, but time just doesn't permit. Life at work has been incredibly busy so every moment of free time I have I spend with Jaedon and Patrick. It does seem blogs take a back seat when life gets a little nuts.
So if you are still out there and checking in, please don't stop! There is some CRAZY EXCITING NEWS coming, you won't want to miss it. I promise the nursery, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Etc pictures are coming very soon, just bear with me.
To keep you comin back here are a few teaser's of whats to come....you just have to be patient ;-)
So if you are still out there and checking in, please don't stop! There is some CRAZY EXCITING NEWS coming, you won't want to miss it. I promise the nursery, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Etc pictures are coming very soon, just bear with me.
To keep you comin back here are a few teaser's of whats to come....you just have to be patient ;-)
Fun in Fall 2010
December 2010 - Jaedon's 1st Christmas
December 2010 - Christmas to remember
January 2011 - The Beloved Bumbo Seat
January 2011 - Strong little man
January 2011 - Hi Mom!
January 2011 - My first airline adventure!
With much love - The Janson's!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Dancing in the Minefields...
I can hardly believe it's been 4 months since Jaedon came home. He is sitting up, babbling, eating like a champ and soaking 3 bibs a day with slobber. The new born stage is past, but he is still so much a baby. We are amazed each day, that God has given us such a precious gift, so undeserved and yet He chose us. Just 5 months ago there was so much uncertainty, we could not have imagined we would be living the days we are presently. For 7 years we waited, so much paperwork, so many tears and yet it was all so we could get to today.
These past 4 months have not been without their own set of trials. Learning to be parents, adoption emotions, job changes, returning to work and financial adjustments, at times it seems overwhelming and yet it pails in comparison to those 7 years.
Today a song came across the radio that I had not heard before but feel could have been written just for us. We were married at just 19 and 21, and in the past 12 years have been through so much. Looking back it is amazing how God has, not only kept us together but shown us what it truly means to love one another. I love Patrick deeply, he is my best friend, my rock, my strength, my encouragement and the best gift God ever chose to give me. In light of the past 7 years you can imagine how the words of this song effected me:
Dancing in the Minefields
Well I was 19 you were 21
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much to young
But we did it anyway
We got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
We said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
Well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found
So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me
Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos baby
I can dance with you
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
That’s what the promise is for
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much to young
But we did it anyway
We got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
We said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
Well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found
So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me
Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos baby
I can dance with you
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for
That’s what the promise is for
Such beautiful words that remind me trails will come, but I have a precious gift to dance through them with. If there is anything on I would want Jaedon to know on his 4 month birthday it's this, his daddy and mommy love one another so deeply that we would dance through minefields a million times over to get to him.
Patrick, my love, "in the face of any chaos baby I can dance with you". I would spend the next 12 years dancing in the minefields and sailing in the storms, as long as you are right beside me.
I am blessed, no doubt about it.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Considering the lilies....
I confess I am a blog reader. Whether it’s home décor, food, photography, devotionals, adoption, I read them all! Every now and then I stumble on a blog that deals more with the reality of life than the fun of hobby. This past week I happened upon two such blogs written by two moms of two very sick baby girls, one of which was born just 15 days after Jaedon. My heart has grown burdened reading the words of these brave moms. I cannot begin to imagine the heartache, pain and exhaustion these ladies are going through watching their babies suffer, and yet they continue to stand strong.
I admit, holding my precious healthy baby boy I have really been wrestling with the questions of why and the fear of the unknown. I've struggled with fear and anxiety in the past, surrendering to God before Jaedon was born that I didn't want to spend a day of his life being plagued by fear. But recently it seems motherhood and the reality of how deeply I love my child, has brought a whole new set of fears and the realization that Jaedon will not always be the baby boy who needs me for everything. I know that I cannot protect Jaedon from this world. I cannot keep him from feeling pain and heartache as he grows. I cannot heal health problems that Lord willing He will never deal with and yes someday I will have to let him go and grow into the man God has created him to be. I am excited to see what God has instore for him, but if I were completely honest, I'm scared.
As I was rocking Jaedon the other night I began to flash back to our time in the hospital after he was born. I remember how difficult it was being so uncertain of what God had in store, not knowing if we would be taking him home or if God had other plans. My thoughts automatically turned to the 2 blogging moms and their babies. I became overwhelmed with grief knowing they were not at home rocking their little ones like I was mine. I began asking God for peace, almost instantly He brought to mind Luke 12:27, "Consider the lilies, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin....”. I tried to continue praying but honestly could not speak another word; I just sat there as the words echoed over and over again in my mind.
After putting Jaedon to sleep I pulled out my bible and read the entire passage. It was not enough to read it; I needed to put Jaedon into this verse to really grasp what God was trying to tell me. I began to speak these words out loud:
And he said to me, “Therefore I tell you Heather, do not be anxious about Jaedons life, what he will eat, nor about his body, what you will put on him. For HIS life is more than food, and HIS body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value is Jaedon than the birds! And how will you being anxious(worried, gripped by fear) add a single hour to Jaedons span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe Jaedon, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that Jaedon needs them. Instead, seek His kingdom, and these things will be added to Jaedon.
It was as if the reality of scripture screamed out “Jaedon belongs to God”!
We had nothing to do with Jaedon’s creation or his birth, Jaedon was truly a gift in every sense. Just as he was formed and created by an almighty God, he will always be the child of an almighty God. God has ordained the days of Jaedon’s life and nothing we do will change the path God has set him on. I am in love with my precious baby boy, but I cannot grasp how much deeper in love with him my Father is. Daily I am learning that it is not a matter of me protecting him from the world, sickness, disease, heartache, pain, etc., those things are out of my hands. My role as his mother is to love him, care for him, train him up in the word and teach him what it means to trust God. I want to be an example for Jaedon of a mommy who trust's God in all things, fear has no room in midst of one who fully trusts in the Lord.
I am not perfect, I will fail, but I trust God has put me in this role and will continue to teach me, silencing my heart with the word when I need to hear Him louder than my fears. The only reality I need to face is this, God chose us for Jaedon and Jaedon for us. I will always be his mommy that reality will never change!
The first night we had Jaedon he was just a little over 24 hours old. I was so scared! He was so precious, we had waited so long and yet I felt so inadequate to be called his mother. I remember so vividly sitting on the hospital bed asking God how to pray for this precious gift, that He might give me the words. Ask and you shall receive! God laid a passage from Numbers 6 on my heart, I began to pray what I could recall from scripture, adding Jaedon’s name in and a personal prayer at the end. Overwhelming peace flooded my heart almost if God were saying I will take care of you, trust me. Since that night we have prayed the same prayer over Jaedon as we put him to sleep each night, it is simply this:
"The Lord bless Jaedon and keep Jaedon. The Lord make His face to shine upon Jaedon, be gracious to him, turn His countenance toward him and give him peace. That Jaedon might grow to serve the Lord all the days of his life."
So why share this struggle publicly? I know I am not the only mom with these fears, but as a new mom I know how hard it is to admit when you are afraid. If you are such a mom my hope is that I might be able to encourage and pray for you as you trust God on this journey.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wordless Wednesday...Jaedon and his tongue
In December Jaedon found his tongue and well lets just say this was the usual face's of baby Jae...
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| Absolutely Priceless |
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wordless Wednesday....a day late :-)
Just for fun I thought I would post pics from Jaedons 2 week photo shoot, after all they are AMAZING!!! Thanks Casey!
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| Truely capturing us :-) |
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| Very long little boy! |
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| Cannot get enough of this picture! |
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| The most precious baby blues I have ever seen! |
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